No When to Fold ‘Em

One day at work, the most unimaginable nightmare came true. I had taken a leadership position working on a non-profit mission I was passionate about. So when subtle changes started pulling my time away from the most impactful projects, I tried to dig in and work harder. I was doing my best to advocate for the mission I was hired to serve, but friction was everywhere. After months of friction, redirection, and lack of communication, I learned that executive leadership was discussing the future of the team.

In hindsight, that moment was a blazing omen of things to come. But it didn’t feel so clear in the eye of the storm. Although I could feel the mission I was passionate about slipping father and father away, I tried harder to fight for it. When that little voice came up and said, “Something is off here,” or, “This isn’t what you signed up for,” I remembered the hefty salary I was taking home and decided to suck it up and double down again. Everyone has a stressful job. Those are just the cards dealt with a high salary, right? Wrong. But I didn’t know when to hold ‘em, and for me, there was no when to fold ‘em.

And then one day, I logged on to work to the announcement that I was no longer employed.

Gold Gilt or Gold Guilt?

In my story, signs and stressors hinted at an unhealthy work environment. But that isn’t always the case. I have worked with clients who had the “perfect job.” A respectful and collaborative environment, interesting work, ample opportunities for advancement, autonomy, and a high salary. Yet, they were still dissatisfied.

In a topsy-turvy economy and an uncharted job market, being dissatisfied with a perfect-on-paper job can be disorienting. This can give rise to guilt; I should feel grateful for what I have, and I feel guilty that I don’t. In this scenario, when the quiet voice says, “Something is off here,” there’s also a choice that has to be made. Should I keep the high salary although I’m unfulfilled? Or should I go find fulfillment? Often, doubling down is the most logical choice.

Which may not seem like such a bad choice. But if the thing that’s off is a core part of who you are or what you need, that can come back to haunt you.

What is Misalignment at Work?

Misalignment is the persistent state of being, acting, or working in a manner incongruous with one’s values, beliefs, or wellbeing. Misalignment at work can look like a values mismatch or an environment inconducive to your wellness. From an employer lens, misalignment is about employee/role fit on a superficial level. From a humanist perspective, misalignment at work is about whether or not you can thrive.

Misalignment is an often overlooked consequence of golden handcuffs because it can be easily downplayed and brushed off in favor of keeping high material resources. That’s not a judgment about material motivations. Human beings all crave security, and knowing you have enough resources to support yourself is an evolutionary driver. In a society that labels things like purpose or fulfillment as luxuries, we often overlook the importance of alignment. Not everyone gets luxuries, right?

However, there are consequences to overlooking misalignment for too long. Misalignment can be found at the root of burnout, a medical condition known for extreme physical and emotional exhaustion. In other words, if you stay stuck in environments that go against your values, interests, or wellbeing for too long, you could be heading for burnout.

Do I Stay or Do I Go Now?

A quick Google of the phrase 'golden handcuffs’ defines it as the process by which companies dissuade talented employees from leaving through high pay and benefits. But it’s not always about talented employees. In industries with higher than average salaries like tech or some forms of law, high pay is a norm. Whatever the motivation, the outcome is the creation of outsized switching costs.

Whether you have a great job with high autonomy and respect or you have a stressful, toxic job— if the pay is high enough, you will face a difficult choice if you consider walking away. You’re also faced with a difficult choice if you stay. Do I stay and risk misalignment burnout? Do I go and risk [Insert Fear Here]?

If you’re facing this choice now, you’re not alone. Check out these 3 Ways to Avoid Misalignment Burnout.