You Can’t Be What You Can’t See

One of my favorite quotes, nay, ideas is Marian Wright Edelman’s “You can’t be what you can’t see.” Google the phrase, and you’ll find think pieces ad nauseam debating the idea. And I suppose this is yet another long-ish form opinion piece on the topic. Naysayers of the phrase argue that spontaneous innovation of thought can arise without inspiration. Or, that lack of representation doesn’t actually hold people back (*chuckles in lived experience).

But I’ve lived the before and after implied by this quote. My story began with incredibly humble beginnings, and I could not imagine any other way of life. I had no examples that showed me what it was I could reach for. We are, after all, products of our societies, cultures, and childhood environments. So the idea that a group of people would not be impacted by the bias society constructs around them from birth is…flawed.

As I got older, entered the workforce, began to meet people from different walks of life, and gained access to travel, I started to see what I could be.

I had only to decide and to reach.

I had only to be.

What it Means to See

My life has evolved so profoundly from where I began, it is difficult to fully express. Though I live for the parlance of our time, “started from the bottom now I’m here” doesn’t seem to cut it. I opened up about my life’s journey on the Crush Your Money Goals podcast with Stefanie Gonzales, but here's a tl;dr.

For me, what it means to see is to be exposed to ideas and possibilities beyond the set of circumstances you’re born into. It also means, personally, answering the call to exploration, curiosity, and adventure. It has meant going inward, meeting and greeting my shadows, and showing up to the work.

It’s meant learning to see external barriers as separate from myself; releasing the chokehold outside influences have on me. It’s meant learning to dream without constraints. It’s meant transforming internal barriers in the way of my dreams. It’s meant learning how to prioritize alignment in everything.

It looked like climbing the professional ladder, stacking degrees, getting the titles, and getting the bag. It looked like burnout.

But what it looks like now is taking the bold and courageous steps to build an intentional, aligned life. It looks like leaving the corporate world, charting a professional path on my terms, building a life in my own image, and living my values and aspirations.

What I See in the Coaching Space

I commonly begin a discovery session by asking what it is that brought the person into curiosity about working with me. A very funny thing tends to happen. Folks will describe a sense of dissatisfaction with life and a sense of not knowing their purpose. Then about three minutes later, after some stream-of-consciousness chatting, they will very clearly articulate their purpose without being aware of having done so. This happens in about eight calls out of ten.

So it isn’t about not knowing your purpose or what you feel called to do, it’s about not being able to see yourself achieving it or living it. Something is blocking their ability to see themselves in the lives that they dream of. It could be the belief that their dream is for other people (e.g. another gender, ethnic origin etc), they aren’t worthy, aren’t capable. One of my favorite parts of my work is helping people to see what’s already there. And then to excavate their dreams from under the muck of limiting mindsets.

A Life Aligned Series

In alignment with my aspiration to help empower driven women to break past barriers to their most authentic & aligned life, I created a series of real conversations with real women discussing the realities of living life on their own terms. Because I believe it is difficult to be what you cannot see, this series of live conversations is an effort to help women see other living examples of aligned lives in action. I hope that the series, held weekly on Fridays in May and June, will inspire even a single woman to get curious about uncovering her own life of purpose and alignment.